Does the holiday season create a sense of joy and wonder in your life? Or does the thought of the holiday season makes you wish that you could step into the transporter and ask Scotty to beam you to an X-class planet where they do not celebrate the season? Whether you identify with either scenario or fall somewhere in the middle it all boils down to one thing— your expectations.
Expectations play a role in everyone’s life no matter what season of the year. Expectations are really just beliefs on how you presume a person will react or situation will unfold based on past experiences. More often than not, your expectations are unknown to those involved and why you are often disappointed.
I have been disappointed many times in my life both personally and professionally by not openly communicating my expectations. One time in particular stands out during my first year of marriage. My husband bought an 80 acre property in the Interlake of Manitoba near Gimli before we got married with the ultimate plan of building a dog kennel with walking trails, pheasant hunting and fish ponds.
I spent the first spring and summer cowering inside the house not wanting to go outside for fear of ticks and the army of horse flies that awaited me at the back door. Then my husband told me we would need to go to the bank to borrow $100K to complete the project. I finally got the nerve (after 10 months of keeping silent) to tell him there was no amount of money that we could borrow that would make me want to complete the project let alone continue to live there!
To make a long story short—we both had very different expectations. His were clear and mine were locked in a belief that he must possibly know how unhappy I was living in the bush with ticks and horse flies and that if I communicated this as a new bride it would change the way he loved me. Funny now. Not so funny then.
So, what expectations do you have of this holiday season and of the fast approaching New Year that the people in your life don’t know about? My advice. Get clear with yourself on exactly what you want. Communicate it with an open-heart and then sit back and watch as your expectations start being met in 2014.